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A Love Letter to Coffee

For my inveterate coffee drinking friends, an ode to coffee, courtesy of rabbit blog (AKA the ever-witty Heather Havrilesky, AKA the late, great Suck.com's Polly Esther):

Dear Coffee,

Oh, honey pie. I miss you. I'm beginning to really regret kicking you out. It was a spur of the moment decision, I admit it. I just couldn't take your mood swings anymore! The ups, and then the terrible downs! To rise, only to plummet immediately after! And let's face it, the highs just weren't as high as they used to be. We tried, sure. Time was when one quick visit from you, and I could do anything, write anything, become anything. I was funny! I was the life of the party in my pants. Even if whatever you were talking about seemed pointless, I knew it would lead somewhere fun eventually. God, life was fun with you around. You could turn anything into a joke! Rejection letters, missed appointments, overdue taxes - they were all a barrel of laughs, as long as I had you near!

Maybe I blamed you for things that weren't your fault. I thought that you made me bitchy, and kept me from sleeping at night. It turns out, I'm just a bitch who can't sleep. But how would I have known, if we didn't take a little break? See, now that I'm all alone, sulking around the house, lacking the energy to even sit up straight, I have plenty of time to take a look at my own shortcomings. I'm a moody jerk, with or without you. I'm sorry for projecting, baby! ...

I want you back, coffee. The world is even more irritating without you, and I don't even have the energy to put my irritation into words anymore. What good is a world where I don't have the energy to complain bitterly about everything under the sun?

The opposing viewpoint to follow in my next entry.

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